Little people need cheerleaders. That is where a grandmother can be key to a child's development. Mom and Dad have to say, "not quite right," or "that isn't the way we do this." A grandmother can glory in the mistakes.
Recently, my five year old grandson, Eli, was visiting. I fixed dinner that we were going to eat in front of the TV watching a movie. Eli was on the couch and as I brought my dinner in, he moved the TV tray and his plate, one of a set of favorites, fell off onto the floor and broke.
He was so upset. I immediately took the blame. "Shame on me for not giving you a paper plate and for giving you a wobbly TV tray. Let 's take a minute to look for tiny pieces of the plate. I will look from the floor, and you stay on the couch and if you see a piece, point it out to me."
Children have difficulty differentiating between an accident and doing something wrong on purpose. A broken plate or spilled glass is a disaster. They don't have the perspective of time.
When I was 10 years old, I was sitting on my grandfather's tractor with cultivating blades on the back. The tractor was at the house not on the farm. I started the tractor and ran over a spigot faucet and stopped when I hit the Chinaberry tree. In my mind I was panicked because I knew that it was going to be in the newspaper and my parents 250 miles away would see it in their morning news.
Ridiculous, I know, but starting and driving the tractor was a monumental wrong, and I was sure it would receive universal attention for the magnitude of the wrong. Again, living for years and years gives us perspective that a child does not have.
Eli needed and got support from a grandmother who made a mistake. I am blessed to be that grandmother
